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I'm paying back a debt of gratitude

26/ 7/2008

THE mayor, Councillor Robin Parker, is supporting Springhill Hospice twice over. As well as giving £5 to the Observer appeal, the hospice is one of two charities which will share his charity fund – money raised during his year in office. Here, Councillor Parker explains why ...

SPRINGHILL Hospice is one of two charities I have chosen this year, the other being the British Heart Foundation. So it is timely that my inauguration as mayor fits so well with the Observer campaign.

One thing we can be sure of in this life is that, some day we are all going to die. The only question is how.

Around six years ago my late wife was diagnosed with a dreadful neurological disease called Progressive Supranuclear Palsy – the same condition that killed pianist and comedian Dudley Moore.

A disabling disease which affects the sufferer’s mobility, it also attacks and changes facial expressions and makes it difficult for them to swallow, speak or shut their eyes.

So Linda, who had once been a facility manager for social services in a neighbouring authority, was now needing considerable care and support herself and it was suggested that she attend the day hospice once a week.

I’ll never forget the first time I took her in.

It was like taking a child to nursery.

I left feeling very angry and that I did not want her to go back the following week.

But as the weeks progressed I was able to relax as I began to know the place and staff better.

Of course, what was really happening on that initial visit was that I was already going through the bereavement process, having lost the person she used to be.

Leaving Linda there that first time felt like the beginning of the end.

Later, she was able to go in the residential area for respite care on two occasions to give me a break.

After she died the staff in the day hospice were very supportive and I was able to talk through all my feelings. Alison, the manager at the time, suggested that another former carer and I might be able to help by writing an introductory booklet, which we were happy to do.

Now I want to give something back through my charity. Please be generous, whether it’s by attending one of my fund-raising events or through the Observer appeal.

None of us know what life has in store. For many of us, the hospice has been there to make things just that bit easier for our loved ones in their last days.